Beyond the myth of marriage proposals by sisters: A pragmatic approach by MSSN-UI
The weekly podcast of MSSN-UI was released on the 21st of August 2022 on Sunday serving as the continuation of the previously released one titled “who should I go for?.” The anchor and the co-anchor of the session the persons of Jubril ojedele and Amanatullah Adedeji respectively welcomed the acclaimed experienced guests to the session. Jubril Ojedele on behalf of the Society reasoned with the silent grievances of brothers and expressed that they did not focus on sisters alone hence, the need for the second edition of the topic.
The session was insightful as the exposition was drawn to the fact that proposals can ensue from any gender in as much the interest is established. In his address, Brother Ridwan Adeoye, while tackling the question, opined that there is nothing bad if a sister is interested in a brother. He advised, “if you are interested in the sister too, you can go along with it and if you know you are not interested in the sister, don’t go about saying it around because there is no big deal.”
He added that having criteria is peculiar to both sisters and brothers; once she aligns with your standard, go for her and don’t spread it around.
However, this must be done with wisdom in a situation where a brother has no interest in such a sister. It was also highlighted that proposals should not be accepted out of pity and sympathy because of further circumstances which might emerge. This is evident in portraiture delivered by Sister Zainab Oladokun where she stressed that it is important brothers are aware of the best way to reject sisters with wisdom when the feeling is not mutual instead of accepting her request owing to sympathy and pity. Emphasis was laid on adopting a trusted third-party method instead of going to meet him directly. This is in a bid to protect her dignity and shut the door of shameful thoughts.
Moving on, Brother Ridwan said there should be a timeframe for courtship and that the major cause of the problem is that we come from different backgrounds. For example, a sister might be ready for nikkah as early as 100 Level but might be deterred by her parent. Sister Zainab conveyed that it should not be too long but then, the situation differs sometimes. Brother Ridwan further spoke that relevant issues should be given priority instead of trivial ones and sisters should cut their coats according to their sizes.
In the end, they all agreed that compatibility is an essential ingredient that should be reckoned with in all aspects and it is a topic on its own. Finally, sister Zainab said the power of dua’ should not be underrated especially when a brother starts to deviate from the initial agreements.
In totality, the main focus of the podcast is to unravel the mystery behind the shackles of woman-to-man marriage proposals.
To the married; may yours be counted among the best and ease the other side for you. To the ones in the unwed space: may Allah choose the right partners for you; the ones with that you will be reunited in Jannah. Aameen. !
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