How respectful and humble are most poly sisters! Beauty isn’t their enemy too. Ready are they to go with the man who’s ready to take them with him, who will care, who will be the father of her children and who is ready to plan the future with her. They are often very obedient. Most of them understand better the hadith of the prophet:
“Whoever among you is capable of getting married should marry…”
And above all, they get married early! This isn’t a quote but my summary of my encounter with them during my N.D.programme. Perhaps this is why we will go to poly in search of sisters.
The article titled “we will go to poly in search of sisters” interests me a lot that I had to leave somethings to write this reaction of mine. Thank youAlabi-OlalereToheeb. However, if not that I want to emphatically mention this article, I would have titled my article ‘IF YOU DON’T MARRY THEM, WHO WILL?’
I once overheard at the first and only iftarprogramme I attended (with other members of the FINALISTS’ FORUM) the discussion of some group of brothers who were lamenting that these sisters behave “as if they are the only sisters on earth”. Some said “they are proud” while someone among them said “me, I’m even afraid to face any sister in U.I.”.I keenly listened as the discussion continued since I was very close to them. Then one tends to ask oneself: why are they all saying closely the same thing? Is it that U.I. sisters are SELF-HIGHRATED or …hmm …that word you have in mind?Perhaps the brothers complaining must have had rough encounters with them.
If academic intelligenceis what you are looking for, you’ll find them. If it’s beauty:maa shaa Allah. If it’s the religious upright sisters you are searching for, you can find enough here. So why do you have to go to poly when we have a lot of “angels’ in U.I?
The only thing I think we need is to re-orientate both parties, which is one of the objectives of the annual finalist forum. However, I think it’s high time we both got it right and solved our problems ourselves.
FOR THE SISTERS …
We understand your lament for us: our poor dressing style, our poor communication skills and our inability to care/show love to you (as you see in India films). Now we understand you. We will change. We’ll dress well, we will try to improve in our communication skills and we’ll learn how to care for you.
Furthermore, how can you compare Mathew who came from an English speaking home with Abdul-Fattah who is the only educated hero in his family, (and who must speak egbira whenever he’s with his family)! Or Ayomide of G.R.A.to Ibrahim of “Isaleeeko or BeyerunkaOje in Ibadan (apology to the Ibadans)”. I’m not saying the latter cannot speak well or fluently (of course the brothers I know in U.I. are…maasha Allah), but generally the hoods can’t speak well. If you are fluent, maasha Allah, Help your partner. Rome was a dirty forest before it become the Rome you now know. You can make your ‘Abdullah a better speaker!
In addition, be careful with the films you watch. They corrupt your minds and make you have extreme expectation about love. You think if you find your true love, birds will sing to your ears, the breeze will stand for you or everything about the world will change? I pity you! Real love isn’t the ones described in most Indian films you watch! They are absolutely hokum! Perhaps that’s why you accept and drop brothers, trying to experiment things out. Maybe that’s why you think the brothers don’t care! Don’t worry, we’ll learn the best way to care for you.But you know what –BECOME A KHADEEJAH AND YOU WILL SURELY SEE A MUHAMMAD!
FOR THE BROTHERS …
AKHI, don’tworry; we are all in this together.
Don’t try to impress anyone I advise you. Be yourself. Do as much as you have the ability to do. If you act fake, you will eventually lose your marriage at the time it will pain you most. Let her know the true you and what you stand for, if she likes you for what you are, good! If not, someone made for you will never be someone else’s.
However, try dressing cool too. I don’t mean you should now start putting on suit and tie all the time to look cool. Just keep it simple brother. Do not appear sophisticated!
Well, it’s not necessary to speak English as a BBC presenter (it’s very good if you can) but try as much as possible to improve your communication skill. Listen to good presentations and read well too. Extend your knowledge beyond departmental courses and explore the outside world. Speak with those who are fluent and be humble to accept corrections. Help yourself in this aspect. This isn’t mainly to impress your babe but to be respected anywhere you converse! How bad is he who graduates from U.I. without the ability to sustain a conversation in English for 5 minutes, a sister lamented!
Well, they said you don’t care! Lols. I still don’t understand what they mean! But maybe lovely words, songs, like (twinkle twinklelovely spouse, how I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in my heart), sending love SMS, calling herhoney instead of sister Mariam, etc. Hey Brother, don’t take her for granted because she’s a Muslim sister, She loves those words too.She’s a female anyways!
I know a lot of sisters/brothers here in the university have offended you, but will you please forgive them and stay in the Univ. in search of sisters.If you don’t marry them, who will???
When it comes to issues relating to Muslim marital affairs, dating, courtship, love making, etc, Sherif Adigun is always interested and he vomitshis opinion publicly. However, his opinion isn’t all that he writes about, he also writes about his discussions with married couples. He was so publicly activeon social media discussingMuslim marital affairs, dating, courtship, love making etc. that he built a website www.coupleslibraryonline.comto write on but was later advised to pause until he’s walked down the aisle. Now, he’s about to re-activate this mission but still…